Fathers and Home Birth

The role of the father in labor and delivery has traditionally been one of the quiet bystander, there to give emotional support to the mother. More and more fathers are taking active roles in bringing their child into the world, and home birth provides a great opportunity for dad to participate in the process.

In the months leading up to the anticipated date of delivery, dad can play the role of hunter-gatherer by acquiring all of the supplies that will be needed for the big day. This may be as complex as obtaining an entire list of necessities from the midwife, or as simple as ordering a prefabricated kit that the midwife recommends. Dad can also make sure that the kitchen is well-stocked with easy-to-fix food for the last days of the pregnancy and the first days following the birth.

But the chores for dad do not end there. It is important that he become a supportive member of the childbirth team by educating himself as best he can about the process of labor and delivery by reading up on subjects relating to home birth. By knowing what to expect before it happens, the father can be more prepared to assist the mother (and the midwife) during the labor and delivery.

The homebirth gives father a better opportunity to focus on the mother and her needs during this time. In a hospital, the father may be distracted by the myriad of people coming and going, all the tests, and the hospital lingo, or may feel intimidated by the medical staff or just simply feel useless and in the way. A homebirth can make dad feel needed by both the mother and her midwife, and he truthfully is a big part of the team when its show time and the baby is ready to come into the world.

One way to help a father be more comfortable with the whole process of childbirth and birth at home is to have him present while possible midwives are interviewed. His input should be considered when it comes to selecting which midwife to choose also. This makes the father feel like he is participating in the process, not just watching it unfold. While interviewing the midwife, concerns should be addressed that can alleviate any fear the father may have. Find out from the midwife: what are your qualifications? What training have you received? What can go wrong? How will you deal with it? What is your back up plan? Fathers who know this in advance can begin to formulate a picture in his mind that tells him what would happen in certain dreaded scenarios, which helps eliminate the unknown. Ask for references and let dad make the call to check them.

Dad is also an important advocate for the mother in the (rare) event that she is unable to make decisions for herself, or if she is in pain and unable to ask for help herself.

Thus, you see, father can play an important role in the birth of his child that does not end at conception. Likewise, he can support his partner as she endeavors to bring the child they have created together into the world.